The New Playmate Feminism
Take a walk with me back to 1977. I was on a plane to Washington D.C. The plane was full of teenagers excited for the chance to see our government in action. Jimmy Carter had just been sworn in as President and the Vietnam War was over. The world seemed to be settling down and moving forward. For young girls it was an exciting time. College lay before us as well as opportunities our mothers never knew. My girlfriends and I would sit around and talk about all of the things we wanted to do with our lives. Several wanted to be stewardesses and fly around the world and see exotic places. One was going to be a teacher and another dared even dream about going into the armed forces. It was still a man’s world, but we heard a few women were getting into the ROTC programs. It sounded daring and adventurous. The possibility of being the first woman to make it up the ranks and order men around gave us goose bumps. We felt liberated. We had such exciting dreams. We all talked about what college we would go to. I dreamed of getting into Rice University and studying politics. I was so excited to have the chance to go to Washington D.C. and see how the political machine worked. That was a big deal back then. I got to work in Congressman Charlie Wilson’s office for a week. Funny, we never talked about actually becoming a senator or congressman - our mentality was still that it was a man’s world and we couldn't possibly achieve that. Maybe we could make an intern or a law clerk if we were lucky enough. But the doors were wide open, we only needed to walk through them. But as the years rocked on, the turmoil between Gloria Steinem and the NOW movement and our generation only widened. Women wanted a little liberation, just not too much. We were the “transitional” generation. Still rooted in our mother’s worldview and the roles that were expected of us, and yet yearning to break free and discover for ourselves what awesome opportunities awaited us. We wanted to be feminine, have men open the door for us, take care of and respect us. But we also wanted an education, a career, and a family. The NOW movement wanted much more from us. They wanted to burn our bras, abort our children, not get married, and experience” liberated” sex. Gloria once was quoted saying, "A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after”. “We weren't ready for that. It was too much, too soon.
So there we were, a generation of women, shedding our mothers’ past, but not able to embrace the feminist ideal of our future. We were on our own. But we were determined and driven. We had a lot to prove. We pushed ourselves in both directions - trying to be as good a mother and wife as our mothers had been while embracing education and careers at the same time. We exercised after work and ran the kids around to every activity we could put them in. Tired, but our mothers were proud.
The expectations on women were enormous, but we had made it. We had forged our own path and did a great job. We raised great kids, gave them an education, married some of them off and were looking forward to retirement. Some had paid a higher price along the way than others. Many of my girlfriends suffered through painful divorces and career losses, but we found out that we were tough, resilient, and fit. We had paved the way for our daughters to have even more opportunities than we did. They would learn from our mistakes, embrace our sacrifices, and soar to even greater achievements than we did. Or so we thought...
Flash forward to 2010. I took a walk around Market Street with a friend and started talking about the plight of today’s young girls. The girls today are liberated - but not in the way we hoped for. They didn't burn their bras, because they never bought one. They have experience plenty of sex, and are completely unashamed of their bodies. Therein lies the problem....Instead of dreaming of their futures (education and planning careers) they are the “girls just wanna have fun" generation - living in the moment. They aren’t thinking about college, they are thinking about how sexy they can look for their boyfriend, the newest Iphone app, and doing something silly enough to land on YouTube. Porn has taken over the internet, cable TV and any other means available. Women have become nothing more than sex objects. The models are thinner, tanner, and sexier. Everything is about a woman’s appearance. Botox, hair extensions, breast enlargements, lip plumping, body piercing and tattoos. To a young teenage girl, success is all about their sexuality - not their brains. They have completely embraced the sexual revolution, but can't name the Supreme Court justices or have a clue what is on the New York Times best seller list.
Women of my generation feel pained. We worked hard, punished ourselves for every wrong, and sacrificed everything to move the next generation of women up the ladder of success and self fulfillment - Only to see young girl right after another "trashing down". SAT scores have plummeted, STD's are up, drug and alcohol use are up, and girls are having sex much younger and with more partners. Even sadder still, this is being seen as far down as elementary schools.
Its horrific to hear about the young pre teen girls in Singapore being sold to pedophiles, the rape of girls in the Congo or the degradation of women and girls in the Muslim world. We are outraged that women are treated worse than animals. YET, here in America look what we are doing. We have prostituted our young girls for the sexual pleasure of men. Child pornography is the fastest growing type of pornography. Stroll down any mall and see the young girls dressed in provocative clothing. Read the articles in the teen magazines, sit down and watch a teen show (if you have the stomach), and listen to the lyrics of the most popular songs. An entire generation of young girls are being brainwashed into believing that their worth is based on how a man views them sexually. Not their mind, not their accomplishments, not their character. They have become slaves to a mans assessment and desire of them. How revolting.
Want to make it to the top? Sleep with a celebrity. You aren’t a homewrecker. You are now a “mistress”. Make a porn video like Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian or as of today, Montana Fishburne and you can achieve instant fame. Our culture says sex sells. And it does.
Where are we headed? What will it take to turn this generation of young women around to truly love themselves? To value their futures and to make a man respect them? How can we "turn off" this over-sexing of our young girls and turn them on to education, self-esteem, and a bright future? How can we get them to once again dream of a bright future, an education, a family, falling in love? How can we teach them values like modesty and purity (or at least a sense of class and dignity)? Teach them sex is beautiful and awesome when it has boundaries and commitment with someone you love and not a sampler platter at Denny’s. When you value something, you respect it. When you respect it, you honor it and it becomes sacred.
It’s time we teach young women what real beauty is. The sacredness of sex. The value of a great mind. It’s time we stopped allowing men to treat them as sex objects for their own satisfaction. It’s time we teach them they are worth much more - to once again dream and plan their futures. It’s time to make a man value a woman, pursue her, adore her and respect her. Lest we want to watch our granddaughters learn pole dancing instead of tap and ballet. We aren’t that far off..
One of my children (I won't say which one) was doing something that I considered inappropiate. I asked him why he was doing it and the response was "Because I can". Now I have actually gotten that response more than once and never find it amusing. I usually respond with a motherly, "I dont like it, stop it". Sometimes with results and sometimes not.
